The games that they play. The games that we play!
Looks like I will not survive my first brush with the law of the glop.
And Mags said today, “But you are also playing games with their minds!” The point that I missed, since I didn't know that I really am the one who has the resources to be throwing dices.
"You have a career to look after, Sheilfa, you have so much to lose." When all the while I had been making so much of myself, believing I have only so much to give with none to lose.
You scare me, she said. Told her that I spoke to her girlfriend telling her I’m in love with her girlfriend.
“You have to take into account their emotional maturity in dealing with competition, what they can do to you. My God, you don’t know them!”
“They”, I wanted to tell her, is of my kind. Poor, gutterbred. Therefore, there was not much to know. And there was not much to fear. But of course, that is only my point of view. The “real” gutterbred think nothing of me. The real gutterbred think of me a bourgeois shithead trying to lay a dirty hand on their virgin souls.
“Don’t put yourself in a very vulnerable situation. This isn’t the love of your life, is it? You are just there for the adventure, I suppose?”
Damnshit. Would that I would just call it an itch.
But if they're getting themselves some experience, shouldn't I be glad I am of help?
26 december 2005
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